Vanity Sucks

” Kung mahal mo talaga ang isang babae di niya kaylangan maging SEXY di naman kasi PORNOGRAPHY ang gagawin nyo kundi LOVESTORY.”

Getting vain is not really my character. I rather wear an almost faded and out trend jeans with a plain shirt, and use pulbo rather than foundation make ups. As I remember, I only used lip gloss because my lips had dried due of climate change. I can’t even imagine myself applying those beauty products and trying to be good in public, not until somebody pushed me to do so.

It’s not an encouragement; it more felt like an insult to me. I had an ex who kept on telling me that I should improve my appearance. I thought at first that he just wanna make me better. I mean, guys love pretty girls and they feel more proud for their partner when they make an effort to beautify themselves. Until one day, while were walking along Aurora Blvd. to buy some snacks, and saw a lady wearing tiny and fitted clothes, which obviously caught his attention, he opened the same old topic again. He told me that I am pretty by myself, that he liked me just the way I am, but if only I could reduce some pounds and buy some girly things, I might look better. I was actually shocked and disappointed at the same time. What would you react if you’re special someone told those harshly words to you? Huh?

After that incident, I talked to him and asked him if he want me to change. I may sound fool but, Man, I was really in love that time and even though I got an insult, I’m still willing to please him, in any possible way.  Then he told me he doesn’t like changes. So assumed that he realized that I’m beautiful in my own way, and then one day, he complained about embracing me, that he exerts too much before he could hug me. An insult again! A week or more after that conversation, I broke up with him. Nah! It’s not the reason. I just got really tired that I can’t take it anymore and the rest was history.

It was in the first week of February, when Julian and I agreed to jog after class. It will be hard for us since Architecture course has an impossible schedule. We also asked Lhets to come but because we planned to jog in Marikina Sports Center, and it was out of her way, she refused. Unfortunately, Marikina Sports Center was not available because of Iglesia Ni Cristo’s event blah blah, so our first day of our jogging session happened in UP Campus in Diliman, Quezon City. Together with Julian and her boyfriend Nick, we jog, jog and jog. It felt really good that we did it again and again. Our jogging session continued until we lacked of time due of our final drawing plate in Architectural Design 6 subject. We went back jogging after the final plate, and then we stopped again because of personal reasons. I was really eager to reduce some fats then, that I could still have energy even after exhausting hours in school. I also declined eating fatty foods and drinking soda, though yea, it was really hard. Haha. I do love eating e. J

So to keep you updated, I’m still the same, but I also changed a bit. I already ahit my kilay (Wow! So conyo! Haha. What’s the English term of “AHIT” J), which one of his complains before, I started putting some nail polish to my nails, which I really love, I also wear some girly things at times, whenever I’m in the mood. I try different things to gain the self confidence that I lose due of heart break, and I guess that should be the point. I’ll be prettier for the next following days, since I finally decide that I gotta make some changes. I don’t think that applying make ups and being thin is the secret of being beautiful, because in the first place I’m not ugly. I’m just fatty that’s why guys don’t recognize me unlike the others. Haha,

I love myself and I love being simple. No one could ever judge me by just staring at my physical appearance. No man could ever insult me again just like my ex did. Those people who chooses the outer appearance of a person is fool. We all know that beauty will vanish, but not the attitude. So I’ll just be myself, I don’t have to prove myself to anyone, I will change just because I chose to change.